Kindness and “Unstuckness”

I have the privilege of journeying with CBOQ churches and leaders. One of my favorite aspects of the journey is seeing them get “unstuck.” Sometimes churches and leaders get stuck because they can’t imagine the new possibilities that God might have for them. Sometimes they talk endlessly about possibilities but struggle to turn them into action steps. Sometimes they have discerned the possibilities before them, they have created an action plan but they, for whatever reason, fail to follow-through on what they said they would do.

There are many reasons churches and leaders get stuck. There are different strategies, disciplines and postures that can help them get unstuck. However, better than any strategy to help you get unstuck is the simple invitation to kindness.

Kindness changes everything. “But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit” (Titus 3:4-5). Any rebirth or renewal or unstuckness you might experience comes from the love and kindness of God.

If you feel stuck in a complex relationship – pray for God’s kindness.

If you feel stuck in your marriage – commit to speaking only with kindness for one week and see what happens.

If you feel stuck in your ability to lead a board or ministry team – pray that God would give you extra capacity to respond with kindness to the team members that drive you crazy.

If you feel stuck in a conflict – ask God to turn your hurt, pain and resentment into curiosity and kindness.

If your church is stuck – try going overboard in showing tangible kindness to your neighbours and see what needs and opportunities arise that will force your church to seek God and respond appropriately.

Years ago, when I was pastoring, I was horribly triggered by the actions of someone that intentionally defied some instructions of the church leadership. I was so frustrated by the person that I had to walk away to collection my thoughts. It took a few minutes but I heard God tell me to replace my anger with kindness and some curiosity. I returned to the person and by God’s grace I was able to creatively respond to the situation with some questions and a Spirit infused kindness that was not of my own.  Kindness helped me get unstuck.

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